Kise Ryouta (
yellowcopycat) wrote in
swan_forest2016-06-06 01:42 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Entry tags:
Unrequited Love?
Kaijou and Seirin had just had their first practice match, which was shaping up to be a tradition of sorts. This time, Kaijou had gone to Seirin. The gym was nice, newer then Kaijou's but maybe not as big.
He was breathing heavily, but smiling broadly. It always felt good to play, even if it was just a practice match and they weren't going all out. After all, he wanted to keep some of his new tricks up his sleeves, just like he was sure Kagami and Kuroko were hiding some of their new tricks too. This year's match had ended in a draw. Better than last year's practice match, which had ended in Kaijou's loss by two points.
Just thinking about Kuroko made Kise look over to the Seirin team, focusing in on the smaller boy.
For awhile now Kise had realized that he had feelings for Kuroko. Kise had looked up to Kuroko for awhile, but it wasn't really until after the Winter Cup that Kise realized he was probably in love with Kuroko.
He took a towel that one of the first years offered him. "Thanks," he said absently. He scrubbed at his face, his thoughts racing. He had been thinking about Kuroko a lot lately, and seeing him only brought those thoughts back to the surface, only pushed aside when the game had begun. Now with the game over he couldn't focus. The warm glow in his chest that came whenever he thought about Kuroko was back with a vengeance.
The Kaijou team was gathering their things and getting ready to board the bus. He told the first year that he'd be along in a bit and began to head over to the Seirin team.
"Kurokocchi~" he called out. No time like the present, he thought. He didn't know if Kuroko would return his feelings, but he was hopeful. The time Kuroko had cheered him on while he went up against Haizaki stood out in his mind.
"Kurokocchi! You got a minute?"
no subject
He blows out a sigh.
"Kurokocchi is Kurokocchi," Kise said simply because it's really that simple. "Kurokocchi is handsome. More than you give yourself credit for. You're inspiring. Aominecchi may have inspired me to play basketball, but it's you who makes me wanna be the best I can be. I'm not a nice person. I'm not kind, but I've become nicer and kinder since meeting you."
no subject
"I don't mean to question your feelings, but I'm not sure they're romantic..."
no subject
He pauses, letting that sink into Kuroko's, usually not this thick, skull.
"Next time you reject someone, don't ask 'why me' because it sounds like you want your ego stroked. I know you better, but still."
no subject
"S-sorry, that wasn't my intention at all. I said I wasn't trying to question your feelings, but I realize now that's exactly what I was doing. I apologize, I wasn't trying to belittle them."
He pauses for a moment. "I don't have very much experience with romance or the like... I thought I liked someone once, but I realized it was closer to feelings of admiration and jealousy more than anything else. I incorrectly thought that might be the same for you. I'm sorry."
no subject
"I know it wasn't," he said softly, drawing his knees up and resting his chin on them. "And I don't have much experience with it either. You're the first person I ever confessed to."
He looked at the fingernails of his free hand. They're perfect, like they always ware after a shoot, and they're going to be messed up by the end of Wednesday. "But I have older sisters. A lot older. So, I know some things. I do admire you for a lot of things, but I'm not jealous of you. Kurokocchi is Kurokocci, and I'm me. I'm happy being me, even when it's hard."
no subject
The same can't be said for him, but Kuroko likes to think he's gotten better about it. Jealousy is hard to avoid when surrounded such bright and shining talents.
"Should I refrain from attending our group meetups for the time being? I wouldn't want to make things harder."
no subject
He lets out a thoughtful hum. "No, I don't need you to. You're my friend. One of my first real friends. I'd miss you if you weren't there. As much as I wanted to date you, I value your friendship more." Though for him it was pretty tied up together.
But he can deal. It's not like the Miracles get together super often anyway. Less than he'd like, if he's honest, but with three of them in Tokyo, and the other three, himself included, to different parts of Japan (though Yokohama, and it's prefecture Kanagawa, is techinquly part of the Greater Tokyo Area) but he's so busy he might as well be in Kyushu.
no subject
"I suppose I'd miss you dropping in out of nowhere. But if you're alright with it, then I won't change anything."
Even he'd like to see the Miracles together more often, but he understands that their distance made their rare meetings all the more special.
no subject
Kise might drop in less for the immediate future, but he'll behave exactly as always when he does. But Kuroko doesn't need to know that. He might have his agent book him some more. To keep busy until the pain goes away. That's what the Kise family does.
"Don't tell Aominecchi about the phone sex part," he said. "Or Kagamicchi, since telling one is like telling the other. And I don't want Aominecchi to make fun of me for it. I might actually have to punch him in the face if he does."
no subject
Honestly, Kuroko would not stop Kise from punching Aomine. He'd deserve it.
no subject
Aomine could probably due with a punch.
"Anyway, I'm fine Kurokocchi, you don't have to worry about me."
no subject
Based on that comment about his own tastes...
"I'm curious - you said you didn't think I'd say no. Is it because you think I'm also gay?"
no subject
He paused. "I figured you were at least attracted to other guys, but I didn't really think about if you identified as gay or bi. I figured I could ask you about that afterward."
no subject
Kuroko will not comment on his own orientation. Irrelevant info!
no subject
And Kise doesn't ask, because he's still figuring himself out too.
no subject
Clearly, he needs to work on suppressing his emotions more, sorry Kise.
no subject
There was a knock at his door, his sister's loud voice calling for him 'Ryou-chan, c'mon, it's lunch time!'
"I'm on the phone!" he yelled back. "Sorry, my sister probably wants to go lunch."
He stood. "I should probably get dressed," he said. "I'll talk with you later?"
no subject
Lots to think about!
no subject
Then he feels like he deflates like a balloon. His sister knocked again and yelled at him to get going, and he walks over to yell at her that he was moving, then their mother was yelling that she didn't want to hear them fight.
At least he was distracted now. Hopefully he could stay distracted