swan_forest | Unrequited Love?

Kaijou and Seirin had just had their first practice match, which was shaping up to be a tradition of sorts. This time, Kaijou had gone to Seirin. The gym was nice, newer then Kaijou's but maybe not as big.

He was breathing heavily, but smiling broadly. It always felt good to play, even if it was just a practice match and they weren't going all out. After all, he wanted to keep some of his new tricks up his sleeves, just like he was sure Kagami and Kuroko were hiding some of their new tricks too. This year's match had ended in a draw. Better than last year's practice match, which had ended in Kaijou's loss by two points.

Just thinking about Kuroko made Kise look over to the Seirin team, focusing in on the smaller boy.

For awhile now Kise had realized that he had feelings for Kuroko. Kise had looked up to Kuroko for awhile, but it wasn't really until after the Winter Cup that Kise realized he was probably in love with Kuroko.

He took a towel that one of the first years offered him. "Thanks," he said absently. He scrubbed at his face, his thoughts racing. He had been thinking about Kuroko a lot lately, and seeing him only brought those thoughts back to the surface, only pushed aside when the game had begun. Now with the game over he couldn't focus. The warm glow in his chest that came whenever he thought about Kuroko was back with a vengeance.

The Kaijou team was gathering their things and getting ready to board the bus. He told the first year that he'd be along in a bit and began to head over to the Seirin team.

"Kurokocchi~" he called out. No time like the present, he thought. He didn't know if Kuroko would return his feelings, but he was hopeful. The time Kuroko had cheered him on while he went up against Haizaki stood out in his mind.

"Kurokocchi! You got a minute?"

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"He's annoying. A great dad, but annoying." He shrugged. "At least I'll look good when I'm old because of him."

He frowned as he looked back at Kuroko. "Really? I never noticed." Kise never really looked at other names on sign-up sheets. "I always imagined it was something like, 'To be Iron.'"

He picked up his phone and typed in the katakana which then offered the possible kanji readings. He chose the reading he was looking for; 鉄也 and showed it to Kuroko. "But, getting to know you, I think this reading would be better."

He took his phone back and showed Kuroko 徹也

'To be devoted.' Like how Kuroko was devoted to his basketball.

"Well, we already have an Iron Heart in Seirin, so I'd rather not enroach there."

He does smile softly at Kise's suggested reading. "I'm partial to these kanji," he shows an example on his own phone, 徹夜. "Even though it's a common word. An all-night vigil or a sleepless night. The liminal space of an endless evening. It feels a bit mysterious, in that way."

Edited (trying to logic out explaining kanji oh my god) 2023-02-21 14:37 (UTC)

"That does sound like you," Kise said with a smile. "You present yourself as someone not that special, but you're actually mysterious. Like the shadow you always compare yourself to."

"Am I that mysterious? I'm just me."

He does consider himself rather plain. A very ordinary high school boy!

"You're you, and that's, honestly, a miracle. Not just for me but for Midorimacchi, Aominecchi, Momoicchi, Murasakibaracchi, and Akashicchi. I'm sure Kagamicchi and the rest of Seirin think the same."

It's sappy. He knows. But it's true.

"You've made life better for us just by being you. I know I'm less lonely by being your friend."

He scratches at his cheek sheepishly, a bit embarrassed.

"I'm just happy we're all friends again. All I wanted was for everyone to enjoy basketball again."

"You could have given up on us, except for Momoicchi; we were all assholes." He hummed. "I sought you out because I was worried we'd stop being friends."

"I can't fault you for thinking that..." He did essentially disappear off their radars as soon as the Nationals final match had concluded.

"I appreciated your offer to join Kaijou, but I had already made up my mind by then. I would do things my own way, with my own basketball."

"Did you? You seemed rather annoyed to me." He's lightly teasing. But he was hurt at the time.

Losing against Kagami at the time really sucked at the time, even though Kuroko had made his feelings clear that he would be staying at Seirin, it felt like he had lost Kuroko for good.

But that hadn't been the case, thank every god.

"Well... I was still harboring strong feelings back then about how things played out, so yes, I was annoyed." None of them had apologized for what happened, not really.

He is pointedly going to let that hang in the air while he takes a few bites of ramen.

"But you were the only one who looked for me, in the end." That counted for something.

Kise may have matured since Teikou, but he's not perfect. So while he picks up on Kuroko's feelings, he's unsure why he should apologize. Sure, they disrespected their opponents, and he did feel bad, and he expressed dismay that they had hurt Kuroko's friend because he was Kuroko's friend and nothing else.

Kuroko didn't apologize for disappearing on them. It hurt all of them. If he owes anyone an apology, it's to Kuroko's friend. If he owes anyone an apology, it's to Kuroko's friend.

So it's an impasse. One they'll have to deal with.

"I missed you," he said after swallowing some tofu. "You were important to me."

And Kuroko feels perfectly justified in his disappearing act, petty as it was. He had no reason to ease their hearts when his own had been crushed so irreparably, their connections already frayed. It was easier to heal by himself.

"Mm." He's not sure he felt the same way, when their friendship had weaker foundations, especially compared to now, but he won't say anything. "We didn't have to go to the same school to continue being friends, though."

And it's one Kise's not going to bring up. It's in the past, as far as he's concerned. Bringing it up now would only make things awkward.

Maybe one day, he'll be mature enough to really examine it.

He grimaces, guessing at Kuroko's thoughts. It hadn't hurt that Kise was crushing really hard on Kuroko even then. "No," he agreed. "But, I thought, well, a lot of it was mostly me wanting to be on the same team as you again, but I thought you'd have fun with a team guaranteed to win over a new team." He grimaced again. "I mean, I understand you now, but that was my thinking at the time."

"I understood where you were coming from as well." He offers him a small smile at that - the echoes of 'ever-victorious' and '100 battles, 100 victories' had been marked deeply upon them. When Kise sought him out, Kuroko still hadn't fully understood why everything felt off.

"I valued our time as teammates and will always look back on it fondly, but... I think I like Kise Ryouta of Kaijou a lot more."

"You know? I do too," Kise said with a soft smile.

He went back to his meal. Which is almost gone. He slurps up the last bit of noodles and pokes at the last bit of food in it. "Thank you for the meal, Kurokocchi."

He finishes up his own bowl, closing out the meal with a polite 'gochisousamadeshita' and a small clap, as usual. He flags down the waitress so he can promptly pay the bill.

"You're welcome. You can pay me back by winning tomorrow."

"I'll win, Kurokocchi. You'll see the best basketball that Kise plays ever."

Unrequited Love?

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