Unrequited Love?

[yellowcopycat]

Kaijou and Seirin had just had their first practice match, which was shaping up to be a tradition of sorts. This time, Kaijou had gone to Seirin. The gym was nice, newer then Kaijou's but maybe not as big. 

 

He was breathing heavily, but smiling broadly. It always felt good to play, even if it was just a practice match and they weren't going all out. After all, he wanted to keep some of his new tricks up his sleeves, just like he was sure Kagami and Kuroko were hiding some of their new tricks too. This year's match had ended in a draw. Better than last year's practice match, which had ended in Kaijou's loss by two points.  

 

Just thinking about Kuroko made Kise look over to the Seirin team, focusing in on the smaller boy. 

 

For awhile now Kise had realized that he had feelings for Kuroko. Kise had looked up to Kuroko for awhile, but it wasn't really until after the Winter Cup that Kise realized he was probably in love with Kuroko. 

 

He took a towel that one of the first years offered him. "Thanks," he said absently. He scrubbed at his face, his thoughts racing. He had been thinking about Kuroko a lot lately, and seeing him only brought those thoughts back to the surface, only pushed aside when the game had begun. Now with the game over he couldn't focus. The warm glow in his chest that came whenever he thought about Kuroko was back with a vengeance.

 

The Kaijou team was gathering their things and getting ready to board the bus. He told the first year that he'd be along in a bit and began to head over to the Seirin team. 

 

"Kurokocchi~" he called out. No time like the present, he thought. He didn't know if Kuroko would return his feelings, but he was hopeful. The time Kuroko had cheered him on while he went up against Haizaki stood out in his mind. 

 

"Kurokocchi! You got a minute?"

Comments

[yellowcopycat]

"Hmm, I guess that's true enough," Kise agreed, thinking of the times he dealt with it."

He gave another pout. "Hey, I haven't fallen asleep in class since first year!" He really tried to stay awake starting their second year.

[misdirects]

"I remember." They had been in the same class before Kise ever joined the basketball team. "I always thought it was because you were too busy with your modeling work."

[yellowcopycat]

"Partly that, partly because I didn't care," Kise admitted sheepishly. "But I started caring! Well, caring about the results."

[misdirects]

A small smile at that.

"You did need decent grades to stay on the team. Our group study sessions were rather chaotic."

[yellowcopycat]

Kise remembered those. Murasakibara would either sleep through it or ace it all. Midorima would be smug about everything, and he and Aomine would bicker a lot.

"They were... a bit too chaotic." They only got him from barely passing to slightly better than barely passing. English was the only subject he cared about.

[misdirects]

And the only one he ever did very well in was Japanese literature.

"Yet, somehow, we survived. They are some of my fondest memories of our time in Teikou."

[yellowcopycat]

"Yeah, they were pretty great," Kise agreed with a soft sigh. And then he wasn't sure what else to say.

[misdirects]

It's at that moment when the waitress finally notices there is an extra person sitting at the table with Kise and prompts him for an order with an apologetic manner. Kuroko pays it no mind and naturally chooses a vanilla milkshake, watching her scurry off to tell the kitchen.

Other than patiently waiting for his drink, he also isn't really sure what to say. He's always been the least conversational out of all of them and the last time they saw each other in person... awkward.

[yellowcopycat]

Well... this is awkward.

Might as well go for the kill shot and break the ice—or something like that. "I never fell out of love with you," he said.

[misdirects]

Well, it's a good thing he didn't even have a drink, because Kuroko surely would've choked on it.

"L-love?" He thinks back on some of the conversations they had, where Kise had indeed declared his love, but... "I thought it was platonic..."

[yellowcopycat]

"Kuroko, I confessed to you and asked you to date me," Kise said, voice going deadpan. "You might have convinced yourself it was platonic on my end, but it wasn't on my end.

I don't think it ever was."

[misdirects]

"Ah... I suppose I had taken you at face value. And then you said you liked Akashi-kun, so I assumed..."

He assumed Kise moved on. He was not exactly too bright on the matters of love.

[yellowcopycat]

"I do like Sei. How I feel about him is very different from how I feel about you. It's fun, easy, and sexy. It's... more than friends with benefits, but not how I feel about you. And since I'm poly, I could love you both at the same time."

He sighed. "I don't know. I'm figuring it out as I go. I think that's how it's supposed to happen."

[misdirects]

"Right, poly..." That had been a very recent fact he learned about the blond, after the misfired text fiasco. Kuroko covers the bottom of his face, cheeks warming as he re-evaluates things in his head. "Sorry - I am. Processing this. I didn't realize..." A lot, apparently.

[yellowcopycat]

"Kurokocchi, you caught me jerking off after we got a little too close in the kitchen the day after we took a bath together, and I popped wood then, too. I mean, I am a teenager, and erections happen, but usually, I can hold off during training camp. Give me some credit."

[misdirects]

His hand moves to cover more of his face as he turns redder.

"That - that's different, isn't it?"

That had been missteps on his own part - he had taken Kise's words to heart, about not avoiding each other or changing their behavior simply because of the initial confession and rejection. "I should've been more considerate of the circumstances. I apologize."

[yellowcopycat]

"It's not that different. I get horny like any other guy. But you? Kurokocchi, you've always been different for me."

He paused, then shook his head. "No, that wasn't on you. That was just something that got out of hand that week. I mean, it was super embarrassing for me, but... well," he made a vague gesture with his hand. "It just happened? And that's when I started trying and failing to get over you."

[misdirects]

"I suppose I thought it was just biological and unfortunate timing." He didn't exactly view physical attraction in the same way as Kise did. "I was insensitive..."

[yellowcopycat]

"It was both of those things, too," Kise said. "Which were... um, shit, what's the word? Compounded? Sure, whatever. My physical and emotional attraction to you didn't make it easier.

And you weren't, stop saying that."

[misdirects]

He nods reluctantly, trying not to feel more guilt, but it was proving a difficult task.

The waitress returns with his drink, setting it down, and Kuroko thanks her. He twiddles with the straw, too unsettled to enjoy it just yet.

"...I didn't intend for you to find out. I thought... if you could get over your feelings for me, I could do the same for you."

[yellowcopycat]

"Well, that's the problem, isn't it? I didn't." Kise blew out a sigh. He took a beat to gather his thoughts and then said.

"And as much as it pains me to say this, I don't think we're compatible romantically."

And that really hurt to say, even if it had been something he had been thinking ever since he found out Kuroko liked him and not Akashi.

[misdirects]

He idly stirs his drink, keeping his gaze down on it.

"You're right." He gives a small, strained smile. "That can't be helped."

[yellowcopycat]

Kise let out a ragged breath.

"No, it can't be helped. It sucks, though. It sucks so much." He brushed at his eye, trying to stop tears. "Shit."

[misdirects]

"Ah-" He didn't expect such a strong reaction from the other boy- Kuroko panics a bit, reaching out to grab at the napkins and offering some to him, floundering on the right thing to say in a situation like this. "Don't waste your tears on me, Kise-kun."

[yellowcopycat]

"It's not your fault," Kise said. "It's not. I'll stop crying if you stop feeling guilty."

Though it was probably easier for him to stop crying than Kuroko to not feel guilty, he had to try. Because he knew Kuroko, he knew Kuroko best. They were best friends! "This is a growing up sucks thing. We just love different ways so we're just better off as friends because of it."