swan_forest | Unrequited Love?

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kise ryouta

Unrequited Love?

Kaijou and Seirin had just had their first practice match, which was shaping up to be a tradition of sorts. This time, Kaijou had gone to Seirin. The gym was nice, newer then Kaijou's but maybe not as big.

He was breathing heavily, but smiling broadly. It always felt good to play, even if it was just a practice match and they weren't going all out. After all, he wanted to keep some of his new tricks up his sleeves, just like he was sure Kagami and Kuroko were hiding some of their new tricks too. This year's match had ended in a draw. Better than last year's practice match, which had ended in Kaijou's loss by two points.

Just thinking about Kuroko made Kise look over to the Seirin team, focusing in on the smaller boy.

For awhile now Kise had realized that he had feelings for Kuroko. Kise had looked up to Kuroko for awhile, but it wasn't really until after the Winter Cup that Kise realized he was probably in love with Kuroko.

He took a towel that one of the first years offered him. "Thanks," he said absently. He scrubbed at his face, his thoughts racing. He had been thinking about Kuroko a lot lately, and seeing him only brought those thoughts back to the surface, only pushed aside when the game had begun. Now with the game over he couldn't focus. The warm glow in his chest that came whenever he thought about Kuroko was back with a vengeance.

The Kaijou team was gathering their things and getting ready to board the bus. He told the first year that he'd be along in a bit and began to head over to the Seirin team.

"Kurokocchi~" he called out. No time like the present, he thought. He didn't know if Kuroko would return his feelings, but he was hopeful. The time Kuroko had cheered him on while he went up against Haizaki stood out in his mind.

"Kurokocchi! You got a minute?"

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Kise's quiet for a moment. Then he allows himself the luxury of a sigh and flops back onto his bed. "That's my fault," he finally said. "I... didn't really think you'd say no. I mean, I did consider it, but I got so caught up in planning what would happen if you said yes that it didn't really register, you know?"

He stares up at his ceiling, feeling like an idiot. "I guess I got so used to being asked out and having to reject their feelings because I liked someone else, that I never considered it would happen to me. And I didn't want to ask you earlier becuase either answer would have kept me distracted for the whole practice match."

He paused again. "I'm okay, I guess. I mean. It sucks, but it's Kurokocchi's answer so I have to accept it."

"I definitely would have been annoyed if you hadn't given one hundred percent into the match because of something like that."

He pauses for a moment. "Actually, I am annoyed you assumed I would answer in the affirmative. Your confidence is too high, Kise-kun." If it helps, there is a light tone of amusement in his voice at this, but Kuroko clearly does not mean it in a mean way.

The amusement doesn't totally take the sting out of the remark, but it takes enough out that Kise responds with a haughty sounding, "Can you blame me? I'm me." He then gives a soft laugh. "I sound like Aominecchi."

The amusement doesn't last, though, and he looks back up at the ceiling. "Most people don't go into a confession expecting to be shot down," he said. "But you put a big hole in my ego. Again. So you don't have to worry about that happening again. It's annoying that you keep doing that."

He can't help but let out a small snort at the Aomine remark.

"Sorry, that wasn't my intention." Kuroko truly did not expect it to have such a big effect on him. "I thought most confessions ended in rejection." Maybe that's his own misconception, but they seemed that way by Kise's own admission of his rejections. "No one has ever confessed to me before. I apologize I wasn't able to... hm, soften the blow more?"

"I dunno. I've never really paid attention to other people outside of my immediate social circle. I've gotten a lot of confessions, yeah, but they were from girls who don't know me, so they don't really count. They're asking out someone who doesn't exist."

A little bit of bitterness creeps into his voice. Sometimes, it gets to be too much.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "It was truthful and honest, and that's more important." Kise always tried to soften the blow when he rejected the girls asking him out by telling them it was because he already liked someone, which was true. "Wait, Momoicchi proclaims she loves you like, everytime she sees you! You've been confessed to before!"

Being too popular and standing out so much certainly has its downsides... Kuroko is not envious of Kise's situation.

"She often declares her love, yes, but that's not a confession, is it? Those have usually more intention behind it. Like yours, you asked me if I'd like to go out with you. She's never done that."

Kise doesn't consider himself popular, instead thinking of himself as famous. But it's probably semantics. To him, popularity is something earned by personality. Akashi is popular.

"Hmmm... I'm not sure I'd agree. Maybe she's trying to get you to make the first move." He shrugs and sits up. "Anyway. Don't feel bad. Your rejection was nice enough, and I'll be okay."

He would be. It just hurts a lot right now.

"I'm sorry. I do have to admit, I don't understand why it's me. Surely Kise-kun can choose anyone you'd like."

Someone so unassuming and plain like Kuroko did not suit someone flashy like Kise.

Kise doesn't answer right away. This is something that he doesn't want to talk about, especially after a rejection. But.

He blows out a sigh.

"Kurokocchi is Kurokocchi," Kise said simply because it's really that simple. "Kurokocchi is handsome. More than you give yourself credit for. You're inspiring. Aominecchi may have inspired me to play basketball, but it's you who makes me wanna be the best I can be. I'm not a nice person. I'm not kind, but I've become nicer and kinder since meeting you."

Kuroko had no idea Kise felt so strongly about him. He certainly knew the blond was fond of him, but not to this extent.

"I don't mean to question your feelings, but I'm not sure they're romantic..."

"Kurokocchi. If I go any further with why I asked you out, this will eventually turn into phone sex. I'm not doing that with someone who rejected me, thanks," Kise said, his tone clipped and noticibly cooler than before.

He pauses, letting that sink into Kuroko's, usually not this thick, skull.

"Next time you reject someone, don't ask 'why me' because it sounds like you want your ego stroked. I know you better, but still."

There is a small sputter at Kise's first statement and a sound of shuffling about from his end as he leans back against his bedframe and covers his face with his free hand. It's lucky they're having this conversation over the phone, because Kuroko's face is completely red and he's not sure he can recover from this embarrassment.

"S-sorry, that wasn't my intention at all. I said I wasn't trying to question your feelings, but I realize now that's exactly what I was doing. I apologize, I wasn't trying to belittle them."

He pauses for a moment. "I don't have very much experience with romance or the like... I thought I liked someone once, but I realized it was closer to feelings of admiration and jealousy more than anything else. I incorrectly thought that might be the same for you. I'm sorry."

Edited 2022-12-19 13:11 (UTC)

A small, petty part of Kise is amused by the fact he made Kuroko embarrassed. Not an easy thing to do. Or so he thought. A bigger, sort-of-friendly part of Kise is also amused because they're friends, and usually, it's him on the other end of Kuroko's teasing, even if he wasn't teasing and more annoyed right now.

"I know it wasn't," he said softly, drawing his knees up and resting his chin on them. "And I don't have much experience with it either. You're the first person I ever confessed to."

He looked at the fingernails of his free hand. They're perfect, like they always ware after a shoot, and they're going to be messed up by the end of Wednesday. "But I have older sisters. A lot older. So, I know some things. I do admire you for a lot of things, but I'm not jealous of you. Kurokocchi is Kurokocci, and I'm me. I'm happy being me, even when it's hard."

"I'm glad you're confident in yourself. It would be strange if you weren't."

The same can't be said for him, but Kuroko likes to think he's gotten better about it. Jealousy is hard to avoid when surrounded such bright and shining talents.

"Should I refrain from attending our group meetups for the time being? I wouldn't want to make things harder."

Kise isn't the smartest person around, but he can read people pretty well. "You should be more confident in yourself, Kurokocchi," he said. "You're more than just your talent for basketball."

He lets out a thoughtful hum. "No, I don't need you to. You're my friend. One of my first real friends. I'd miss you if you weren't there. As much as I wanted to date you, I value your friendship more." Though for him it was pretty tied up together.

But he can deal. It's not like the Miracles get together super often anyway. Less than he'd like, if he's honest, but with three of them in Tokyo, and the other three, himself included, to different parts of Japan (though Yokohama, and it's prefecture Kanagawa, is techinquly part of the Greater Tokyo Area) but he's so busy he might as well be in Kyushu.

"What happened to not stroking my ego, Kise-kun?" Now that Kuroko's mostly done being completely mortified, he can find some levity in it.

"I suppose I'd miss you dropping in out of nowhere. But if you're alright with it, then I won't change anything."

Even he'd like to see the Miracles together more often, but he understands that their distance made their rare meetings all the more special.

"It sounded like you needed to hear it. Geez," Kise whined, mostly exaggerated. "I can't win!"

Kise might drop in less for the immediate future, but he'll behave exactly as always when he does. But Kuroko doesn't need to know that. He might have his agent book him some more. To keep busy until the pain goes away. That's what the Kise family does.

"Don't tell Aominecchi about the phone sex part," he said. "Or Kagamicchi, since telling one is like telling the other. And I don't want Aominecchi to make fun of me for it. I might actually have to punch him in the face if he does."

"I absolutely won't tell him. I don't need Aomine-kun teasing me about it either, he's already a pain about searching for gravure magazines every time he goes to Kagami-kun's or my place."

Honestly, Kuroko would not stop Kise from punching Aomine. He'd deserve it.

"Yeah, he does the same when he visits me, despite knowing I don't keep any because my dad goes through my room because he's a big airhead and thinks he leaves things in here, and that my... tastes are completely different than his."

Aomine could probably due with a punch.

"Anyway, I'm fine Kurokocchi, you don't have to worry about me."

"If you say so, then I'll trust you to be honest." He hums. "But if things change or you feel differently, please let me know."

Based on that comment about his own tastes...

"I'm curious - you said you didn't think I'd say no. Is it because you think I'm also gay?"

"No. Well, I wouldn't have confessed if I thought you were straight," Kise said. "I confessed because I like you, and I thought you'd say yes because I thought there might be something more than friendship between us."

He paused. "I figured you were at least attracted to other guys, but I didn't really think about if you identified as gay or bi. I figured I could ask you about that afterward."

"Kise-kun is more perceptive than I thought. But that makes sense, you have to watch people carefully to pull off your Perfect Copy."

Kuroko will not comment on his own orientation. Irrelevant info!

"Partially. I'd be a better actor if that were true. It's more like I'm a model and work with a lot of people who aren't straight, either, so I know what to look for."

And Kise doesn't ask, because he's still figuring himself out too.

"I see. What an interesting industry you work in. I thought I wasn't very obvious."

Clearly, he needs to work on suppressing his emotions more, sorry Kise.

"A lot of outsiders find sancutary in the arts," Kise said. "You aren't obvious, not to people who aren't like us."

There was a knock at his door, his sister's loud voice calling for him 'Ryou-chan, c'mon, it's lunch time!'

"I'm on the phone!" he yelled back. "Sorry, my sister probably wants to go lunch."

He stood. "I should probably get dressed," he said. "I'll talk with you later?"

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