Unrequited Love?

[yellowcopycat]

Kaijou and Seirin had just had their first practice match, which was shaping up to be a tradition of sorts. This time, Kaijou had gone to Seirin. The gym was nice, newer then Kaijou's but maybe not as big. 

 

He was breathing heavily, but smiling broadly. It always felt good to play, even if it was just a practice match and they weren't going all out. After all, he wanted to keep some of his new tricks up his sleeves, just like he was sure Kagami and Kuroko were hiding some of their new tricks too. This year's match had ended in a draw. Better than last year's practice match, which had ended in Kaijou's loss by two points.  

 

Just thinking about Kuroko made Kise look over to the Seirin team, focusing in on the smaller boy. 

 

For awhile now Kise had realized that he had feelings for Kuroko. Kise had looked up to Kuroko for awhile, but it wasn't really until after the Winter Cup that Kise realized he was probably in love with Kuroko. 

 

He took a towel that one of the first years offered him. "Thanks," he said absently. He scrubbed at his face, his thoughts racing. He had been thinking about Kuroko a lot lately, and seeing him only brought those thoughts back to the surface, only pushed aside when the game had begun. Now with the game over he couldn't focus. The warm glow in his chest that came whenever he thought about Kuroko was back with a vengeance.

 

The Kaijou team was gathering their things and getting ready to board the bus. He told the first year that he'd be along in a bit and began to head over to the Seirin team. 

 

"Kurokocchi~" he called out. No time like the present, he thought. He didn't know if Kuroko would return his feelings, but he was hopeful. The time Kuroko had cheered him on while he went up against Haizaki stood out in his mind. 

 

"Kurokocchi! You got a minute?"

Comments

[yellowcopycat]

"I agree," Kise said. "But captaincy is decided by the other teammates, not the coaches, or that's how it works at Kaijou. Other schools might be different."

He shrugs and takes a bite of his tofu. "I really didn't want it," he admitted. "It's great you think I'd be good at it, but Kikuchi is a much better choice than me."

[misdirects]

"I suppose you would know your team chemistry better. But you shouldn't discredit yourself too much, Kise-kun."

Just his opinion.

"Granted, you will be much busier, so perhaps it's better."

[yellowcopycat]

"Yeah, that was my reasoning. Kikuchi's plate is less busy than mine, though if you hear him talk about it, it's like he raised his little brother instead just watching him every once in a while." He grinned. "I know he's lying because my sisters complained about me in the exact same tone. And Kikuchi's little brother isn't that much younger; he'll be joining the team next year."

He slurped up some noodles. "Which reminds me. What are your plans after high school? You know mine."

[misdirects]

"A big brother will have the right attitude, at the very least." A big brother shepherding a pack of boys, that's really what it is. "Being a vice-captain will still look good on your college applications, too."

Kuroko takes a couple bites, humming. "I haven't decided for sure. My father still wants me to follow in his footsteps. I think I might like to study literature."

[yellowcopycat]

"Yeah, it would."

Kise considered Kuroko for a moment as he chewed on some more tofu. "You know, I still think you'd be a great teacher for little kids. Or a coach for them. Teach them early to love and respect the sport, so there's not another Generation of Miracles that's so heartless."

[misdirects]

"You weren't all heartless. Cruel, maybe."

He picks at his noodles. "I'm sure my mother would like it if I decided to go into that field. But I think I'd like to be selfish and just study something I'm interested in while in university."

[yellowcopycat]

"Hrm." Is all Kise will say to that.

He watched Kuroko some more. "Well, do what you want," he said. "Will you be doing analysis or creative writing? I could introduce you to my dad; he'd tell you some good places to go for either. He actually started as a lit student before switching to writing."

He grimaced. "Just don't do what he did to pay your way through uni."

[misdirects]

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble..." He is getting a little overwhelmed by his preliminary research. "Analysis is what I'm most interested in."

Kuroko tilts his head. "Do I want to know?"

[yellowcopycat]

"It'd be no trouble!" Kise chirped. "Let me check..." He pulled out his phone. "How's the first weekend of next month sound? You can come to my place and talk to my dad while mom and I make lunch. Or, well, we order something. Dad's the main cook."

He put his phone on the table and looked at Kuroko, blushing. "Well, it's nothing too bad. He was a go-go boy. It's how he met mom, actually." He coughed. "Ryouta was his stage name."

[misdirects]

"First weekend..." He looks through his own phone calendar and nods, making sure to input a reminder for himself. "That's perfectly fine, thank you."

He does look a little taken aback by the reveal, though. "Oh- your parents must've really liked the name, then."

[yellowcopycat]

((ooc: One my first TFLN threads used this and I've just used it as a headcanon ever since because it amused me.))

"It's weird. I tried reading my dad's novel, which turned out to be a dramatized autobiography. And I asked him about it, and yeah. My dad's an airhead and doesn't believe in the concept of lying, except when telling stories, and basically said exactly that."

[misdirects]

( i am screaming just a lil LOL)

"Your father seems to be a very unique individual, I look forward to meeting him." He hides his amused smile by taking a few bites. "At least you have a interesting name origin. I think my parents just like the sound of mine, since it's written in katakana. No deeper meaning to it."

[yellowcopycat]

"He's annoying. A great dad, but annoying." He shrugged. "At least I'll look good when I'm old because of him."

He frowned as he looked back at Kuroko. "Really? I never noticed." Kise never really looked at other names on sign-up sheets. "I always imagined it was something like, 'To be Iron.'"

He picked up his phone and typed in the katakana which then offered the possible kanji readings. He chose the reading he was looking for; 鉄也 and showed it to Kuroko. "But, getting to know you, I think this reading would be better."

He took his phone back and showed Kuroko 徹也

'To be devoted.' Like how Kuroko was devoted to his basketball.

[misdirects]

"Well, we already have an Iron Heart in Seirin, so I'd rather not enroach there."

He does smile softly at Kise's suggested reading. "I'm partial to these kanji," he shows an example on his own phone, 徹夜. "Even though it's a common word. An all-night vigil or a sleepless night. The liminal space of an endless evening. It feels a bit mysterious, in that way."

Language is weird

[yellowcopycat]

"That does sound like you," Kise said with a smile. "You present yourself as someone not that special, but you're actually mysterious. Like the shadow you always compare yourself to."

eternally struggling

[misdirects]

"Am I that mysterious? I'm just me."

He does consider himself rather plain. A very ordinary high school boy!

[yellowcopycat]

"You're you, and that's, honestly, a miracle. Not just for me but for Midorimacchi, Aominecchi, Momoicchi, Murasakibaracchi, and Akashicchi. I'm sure Kagamicchi and the rest of Seirin think the same."

It's sappy. He knows. But it's true.

"You've made life better for us just by being you. I know I'm less lonely by being your friend."

[misdirects]

He scratches at his cheek sheepishly, a bit embarrassed.

"I'm just happy we're all friends again. All I wanted was for everyone to enjoy basketball again."

[yellowcopycat]

"You could have given up on us, except for Momoicchi; we were all assholes." He hummed. "I sought you out because I was worried we'd stop being friends."

[misdirects]

"I can't fault you for thinking that..." He did essentially disappear off their radars as soon as the Nationals final match had concluded.

"I appreciated your offer to join Kaijou, but I had already made up my mind by then. I would do things my own way, with my own basketball."

[yellowcopycat]

"Did you? You seemed rather annoyed to me." He's lightly teasing. But he was hurt at the time.

Losing against Kagami at the time really sucked at the time, even though Kuroko had made his feelings clear that he would be staying at Seirin, it felt like he had lost Kuroko for good.

But that hadn't been the case, thank every god.

[misdirects]

"Well... I was still harboring strong feelings back then about how things played out, so yes, I was annoyed." None of them had apologized for what happened, not really.

He is pointedly going to let that hang in the air while he takes a few bites of ramen.

"But you were the only one who looked for me, in the end." That counted for something.

[yellowcopycat]

Kise may have matured since Teikou, but he's not perfect. So while he picks up on Kuroko's feelings, he's unsure why he should apologize. Sure, they disrespected their opponents, and he did feel bad, and he expressed dismay that they had hurt Kuroko's friend because he was Kuroko's friend and nothing else.

Kuroko didn't apologize for disappearing on them. It hurt all of them. If he owes anyone an apology, it's to Kuroko's friend. If he owes anyone an apology, it's to Kuroko's friend.

So it's an impasse. One they'll have to deal with.

"I missed you," he said after swallowing some tofu. "You were important to me."

[misdirects]

And Kuroko feels perfectly justified in his disappearing act, petty as it was. He had no reason to ease their hearts when his own had been crushed so irreparably, their connections already frayed. It was easier to heal by himself.

"Mm." He's not sure he felt the same way, when their friendship had weaker foundations, especially compared to now, but he won't say anything. "We didn't have to go to the same school to continue being friends, though."

[yellowcopycat]

And it's one Kise's not going to bring up. It's in the past, as far as he's concerned. Bringing it up now would only make things awkward.

Maybe one day, he'll be mature enough to really examine it.

He grimaces, guessing at Kuroko's thoughts. It hadn't hurt that Kise was crushing really hard on Kuroko even then. "No," he agreed. "But, I thought, well, a lot of it was mostly me wanting to be on the same team as you again, but I thought you'd have fun with a team guaranteed to win over a new team." He grimaced again. "I mean, I understand you now, but that was my thinking at the time."