swan_forest | Unrequited Love?

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kise ryouta

Unrequited Love?

Kaijou and Seirin had just had their first practice match, which was shaping up to be a tradition of sorts. This time, Kaijou had gone to Seirin. The gym was nice, newer then Kaijou's but maybe not as big.

He was breathing heavily, but smiling broadly. It always felt good to play, even if it was just a practice match and they weren't going all out. After all, he wanted to keep some of his new tricks up his sleeves, just like he was sure Kagami and Kuroko were hiding some of their new tricks too. This year's match had ended in a draw. Better than last year's practice match, which had ended in Kaijou's loss by two points.

Just thinking about Kuroko made Kise look over to the Seirin team, focusing in on the smaller boy.

For awhile now Kise had realized that he had feelings for Kuroko. Kise had looked up to Kuroko for awhile, but it wasn't really until after the Winter Cup that Kise realized he was probably in love with Kuroko.

He took a towel that one of the first years offered him. "Thanks," he said absently. He scrubbed at his face, his thoughts racing. He had been thinking about Kuroko a lot lately, and seeing him only brought those thoughts back to the surface, only pushed aside when the game had begun. Now with the game over he couldn't focus. The warm glow in his chest that came whenever he thought about Kuroko was back with a vengeance.

The Kaijou team was gathering their things and getting ready to board the bus. He told the first year that he'd be along in a bit and began to head over to the Seirin team.

"Kurokocchi~" he called out. No time like the present, he thought. He didn't know if Kuroko would return his feelings, but he was hopeful. The time Kuroko had cheered him on while he went up against Haizaki stood out in his mind.

"Kurokocchi! You got a minute?"

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Kise watched, golden eyes sad as he watched one of his dearest friends cry about something neither of them could fix. Kuroko's body just wasn't built like the rest of the Generation of Miracles. He had made it work as long as he could. He was still a teenager, still growing, and already the height of the average Japanese man; he could quickly get another few centimeters in the following years.

But Kuroko's height wasn't the only problem. His low stamina, the fact his most significant asset on the court, was wearing thin. All of this was true. Kise hated. He hated this so much. Last year he thought nothing could stop Kurokocchi.

It turned out though, Kuroko's body was stopping him. It happened. He heard about it on the news, saw third years last year go through this. He hadn't paid it much thought. Thinking it wouldn't happen to him and his friends. They were exceptional! They were the Generation of fucking Miracles! Even if Kuroko was often forgotten about, he was still a member, their Phantom Sixth Man!

And now, here they were. It wasn't fair. He could say so many things, like he wished he could share his talent with Kuroko, or something like that, but it'd just be words. And empty words wasn't what Kuroko needed.

He leaned forward, pressed his lips to Kuroko's forehead. "I'm so glad I met you," he murmured. "C'mon, let's get out of the cold. The locker room's still open, we can warm up in there before we leave."

He's known with each match, each tournament, the price he was paying by being on the court. It was so much easier during middle school with the Generation of Miracles, when their combined brilliance easily overwrote him. Kagami was a dazzling light in his own right, but even that could not diminish his presence forever. He knew the risks of polishing his skills and he took them to guarantee their victories. It was worth it and he would never regret the choices he's made.

But it didn't stop it from being bittersweet, wishing he was as naturally blessed as his friends, wanting to continue chasing after them.

His thoughts come to a halt at the kiss - he isn't blushing, he isn't! His cheeks are merely already turning rosy from the sting of the chilly evening air. Kuroko nods, pulling back to rub fruitlessly at his tears with his sleeves.

Standing, Kise helped Kuroko to his feet, wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and guided him back inside. On the way in they ran across Coach Takeuchi, who gave Kise a funny look, before noticing Kuroko more or less bundled against him and the serious expression on Kise's face.

He reminded them not to stay too long, and left them alone.

Kise sat Kuroko down on one of the benches, then went and got some towels to wrap Kuroko up in them like blankets. "Do you want me to get you a drink?" he asked. He was sorely tempted to dry Kuroko's tears with a towel.

He tries his best to give a stilted bow to Coach Takeuchi, not able to go as low as he wanted, held as tightly as he was to Kise's side.

Kuroko feels and looks like a lost child, all swaddled up, eyes red-rimmed from his crying. He knows he should get something warm, but he nods and suggests, "Pocari, if it isn't sold out."

"You've got it."

He runs into Coach again as he dashes off to get the drink for Kuroko, and the coach gives him a sympathetic look as he shrugs on his coat, reminds Kise to get enough rest or else, and gives his shoulder a squeeze before departing.

Kise never made it a secret that of all the Miracles, Kuroko was the one he was closest to. And while he kept his sexuality on the down low, nearly everyone had guessed at this point that he asked Kuroko out earlier in the year, and the two of them were navigating a friendship after that.

As he never really thought about what other people might think, Kise's suddenly struck with the thought that Takeuchi knows more than he lets on. That's a scary thought.

Fortunately, there's Pocari in the vending machine nearest the locker room. He gets one for both of them, and heads back.

"Feeling better?" he asked. "I usually feel better after I cry. Except when Aominecchi's the one picking on me. Then I just feel frustrated." He sits next to Kuroko, taking and takes a drink.

"You shouldn't let him get to the point of making you cry," he says lightly, rolling the drink between between his hands, the temperature of it keeping his fingers chilled. "Should definitely punch him when he does."

He heaves a sigh into his scarf, tugging it up now that he's feeling a modicum of embarrassment over the whole situation. "I don't know if I feel better. I suppose I thought it would happen differently." He turns to look at Kise. "You're the first person I've told."

Edited 2023-02-17 14:47 (UTC)

"I'm not a violent person outside of the court," Kise admits. "I can be a jerk, and I don't care about people outside of my circle of friends and teammates."

He sighed and gently bumped shoulders with Kuroko. "He told me I cried pretty. I toyed with the idea of hooking up with him after I confessed to you. Just something physical. But I decided against it. He was complaining about Kagamicchi, and I realized he wanted Kagamicchi, so I decided against it."

He lets out a little hum. "I'm glad you felt like you could trust me with that."

"I feel like Kise-kun has indiscernible standards for romantic pursuits." Kuroko says this without any tone of judgement in his voice, though - just an observation.

He cracks open the soft drink and fiddles with the cap before taking a sip. "Maybe I'll have Kagami-kun tell the others, I don't care to repeat this experience." To be fair, he did also have his very last official loss clouding his thoughts, which made it more difficult to get the words out, even though he had been settled in this decision for months now.

"You're probably not wrong," Kise said. "But I never liked Aominecchi liked romantically. I was, well, horny and wanted attention."

Kise took another sip. "No, you shouldn't. Just them all at once. You'll regret it if you do it like that." He puts a hand on Kuroko's shoulder, squeezing. "Think about it though."

He goes quiet for a moment. "You want to hear a story? Something to get your mind off of this?"

He can't really say he understands that line of thinking, so he won't comment on it. Anything more would probably sound critical, but he understands that his views on the topic in particular were not common.

Kuroko does pout a little at Kise's objection. Let him be obstinate!

But he nods, nonetheless, more than happy to turn his thoughts to other things.

"I told you my oldest sister, Mihoshi, got me into modeling," Kise began. "And you know I've had girls claim to be my girlfriend because I'm semi-famous."

He took a breath. "Those were minor annoyances," he said. "I've mostly just ignored them. Because they're not stalkers."

He set his drink down. "I was seven when this happened, and Mihoshi was seventeen. She started the year before. Anyway, there was a fan who really liked her work. It was innocent at first; she was friendly and thought he was a friend. And it went south pretty quickly. He asked her out, and since he was, like, twenty-five, she turned him down. He went nuts. He turned into a stalker, would find out where her shoots were, go to them, and eventually, he started threatening her. Saying if she didn't go out with him, he'd make her pay.

"The police wouldn't do anything, not at first. Saying it was harmless and ignore it. But it was terrifying for all of us. Especially for me, since I had just started modeling too.

"Eventually, it got resolved. He assaulted dad, and dad's like me, doesn't have a violent bone in his body. He broke dad's arm, but he finally went away after that."

He let out a full-body sigh, feeling himself deflate a little, but in a good way; it was nice to get that out. He had never told anyone before. "So, that's why I'm the way I am, why I'm so slow to trust, why it takes so much for me to respect someone. Maybe it was the wrong move, but I didn't want to put my family through that. It hurt my sister so much. Hurt us. It felt like it was us against the world for a while. Why I'm cold to others, why I wait for them to prove themselves to me first before letting them in."

"But I'm glad I opened my world up to you."

He listens quietly to Kise's story, brows furrowing at the quick and unfortunate turn into darker territory. He reaches out and places a hand atop his, a small gesture of support, and gasps at the part about his father. It must be hard recounting such a traumatic experience.

"I'm sorry to hear your family was terrorized in such a terrible way..." His hand curls over his with a squeeze. "For the police to not do anything until a physical altercation happened... it's deplorable."

He sees why Kise would close himself off to the people around him - a defense mechanism for a young boy against a cruel world. Kuroko doesn't know if he truly deserves it, but he does treasure his friendship with Kise, even if he won't say it in as many words. "I'm honored you've let me in." That'll have to do for now.

"I didn't tell you to take away from what you're feeling," Kise clarified. "I've wanted to tell you for awhile, but like I said before, it's not just my story, it's Mihoshi-nee's too."

He leaned back. "It felt good to tell it. I haven't told anyone. I remember there was report about it, but it was years before middle school. So know one else knows. Well, the adults might, but they never brought it up to me." He brought his drink to his mouth and took a sip. "And whoever my sisters have told, but we're a tight lipped bunch. Dad's the most social. Mom, me, and my sisters, we're more reserved around people we don't know."

He looked at Kuroko. "I love you, Kurokocchi. You're one of the most important people in my life," he said, his cheeks turning a little pink at the admission. But he couldn't not say it. And there were many types of love, Kuroko didn't have to know it wasn't just platonic love Kise felt for him. "So I wanted you to know this about me."

"Oh..." His own cheeks redden beneath the remnants of his prior tears. His eyes slide away from looking at Kise, hand slipping away, now rolling the drink between his hands. The sounds of the crinkling of plastic fill the air.

"Thank you for giving me a part of yourself, Kise." Kuroko drops the honorific for once, but his words feel like lead in his mouth. Kise deserves so much better than someone who can't respond in kind to the endless amount of love he has to give, the quiet and steady devotion he's realized permeated their interactions since his first confession nearly a year ago. "I'm sorry that I can't..."

"It's okay, I know," Kise said easily; he knew his feelings weren't returned. "I've made peace with that."

And surprisingly, he was okay. He had nearly a year to get used to it. "You're my best friend, is what I meant. Everything else is just in the way of that."

He let Kuroko slip away. Took a breath. Stood. He stretched. Feeling like he shut something. A book or something. He didn't know what to say next. "You're an amazing person, Kurokocchi. I'm very lucky to have you in my life in any capacity."

Kuroko feels a stray pang of sadness, though he doesn't know why, his words weighing heavy in his heart— so he reaches out to grab at Kise's sleeve, looking up at him with determined eyes.

"You're amazing, too. Please don't forget that." He gives a bit of a wry smile. "And maybe you're too good of a friend, sometimes. You're here comforting me, when you have your championship match tomorrow."

"I won't," Kise promised, smiling confidently at his friend. "And I'll have plenty of time to rest up." The rest of Kaijou was probably still up, nervous and excited about tomorrow.

"I'm going to win tomorrow. For you. For Kasamatsu-senpai and the others who graduated last year. For my family. And for me. For my basketball."

The one Kuroko taught him.

"Rakuzan is strong, but I believe your basketball will prevail."

He means it in mostly jest, because he knows Kise would never, but just a bit of teasing can't hurt. "Don't let your crush on Akashi-kun get in the way."

Edited 2023-02-19 03:52 (UTC)

“I won’t,” Kise promised. Mostly because he didn’t have a crush on Akashi.

Aomine was the only person he subconsciously let beat him. And that wasn’t going to happen again.

”Do you wanna get something to eat? I have about an hour before I have to get to bed.”

He nods, unwrapping himself from the towels, sufficiently warmed up now, and folds them neatly.

"I'll treat you this time, so your choice."

"You don't have to. You know I eat at least twice as much as you do. Probably closer to three times," Kise said with a grin.

"But there's a ramen place next to the hotel I'm staying at. I could probably use the carbs."

"At least for stomach isn't as bottomless as Kagami-kun's." He rolls his eyes a little as he gets up. "I'll pay for one bowl and a noodle refill, then. You're on your own after that."

"Kagamicchi's stomach scares me. I know most people would just say it's because he's from America, but I've met Americans other than him, and they don't eat nearly as much."

He shakes his head as he leads Kuroko out of the locker room and out of the doors of the building. "My hotel's this way," he said. "Are you in the same direction?"

He shivers a bit as they step outside, rearranging his scarf. "Your hotel isn't that far, is it? I'll be fine."

"Just two blocks from here," Kise said as he started walking in that direction. "Maybe, ten minutes if we take it easy?"

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