swan_forest | Unrequited Love?

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kise ryouta

Unrequited Love?

Kaijou and Seirin had just had their first practice match, which was shaping up to be a tradition of sorts. This time, Kaijou had gone to Seirin. The gym was nice, newer then Kaijou's but maybe not as big.

He was breathing heavily, but smiling broadly. It always felt good to play, even if it was just a practice match and they weren't going all out. After all, he wanted to keep some of his new tricks up his sleeves, just like he was sure Kagami and Kuroko were hiding some of their new tricks too. This year's match had ended in a draw. Better than last year's practice match, which had ended in Kaijou's loss by two points.

Just thinking about Kuroko made Kise look over to the Seirin team, focusing in on the smaller boy.

For awhile now Kise had realized that he had feelings for Kuroko. Kise had looked up to Kuroko for awhile, but it wasn't really until after the Winter Cup that Kise realized he was probably in love with Kuroko.

He took a towel that one of the first years offered him. "Thanks," he said absently. He scrubbed at his face, his thoughts racing. He had been thinking about Kuroko a lot lately, and seeing him only brought those thoughts back to the surface, only pushed aside when the game had begun. Now with the game over he couldn't focus. The warm glow in his chest that came whenever he thought about Kuroko was back with a vengeance.

The Kaijou team was gathering their things and getting ready to board the bus. He told the first year that he'd be along in a bit and began to head over to the Seirin team.

"Kurokocchi~" he called out. No time like the present, he thought. He didn't know if Kuroko would return his feelings, but he was hopeful. The time Kuroko had cheered him on while he went up against Haizaki stood out in his mind.

"Kurokocchi! You got a minute?"

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Of lower stamina than everyone else, Kuroko is resting on the bench and refueling with one of Kagami's generously-sized onigiri. His eyes notice Kise's exposed stomach before drifting up to his glistening face and feels a pang of annoyance at his beauty. He pointedly distracts himself with a big bite before answering.

"Don't you think it's a good excuse? Our birthdays don't overlap too closely."

It was true that Kuroko is feeling a bit melancholy at the idea that they were already close to halfway through their last year - he knows he would regret it if they didn't encourage more meetups before distance made it difficult. While summer is full of birthdays, the later ones are a bit more spaced out, at least, to balance it out.

And it's been a while since he's played basketball with a larger group - Kagami plays street ball with him after practice if he isn't already wiped out, but he's much too busy supporting Seirin to indulge often. He misses it and it's obvious how much Kuroko is enjoying himself, a soft glow from within manifesting in a brighter than usual smile on his face.

"Yours and Se- Akashicchi's," he catches himself. He and Akashi have taken to calling each other by their given names in private, but didn't want want to announce it. Aomine would ask all sorts of invasive questions.

Not that he wasn't already, but he'd just be even more annoying than usual.

"are the closest together, I think," he finished. "No, mine and Midorimacchi's is." He sat next to Kuroko and stretched out. He caught Aomine's eye and gave him a rude hand gesture and big grin. "I might Aomine's birthday, depending on how things go in the States. UCLA finally sent me an inventation to visit, but where I go will probably come down to where the best offer comes from. I should be back by then, though.

"I see things are going well with Akashi-kun."

There's no way Kuroko doesn't catch that slip up, his smile growing wider and a little more sly, but he has the courtesy to hide it partly behind the riceball.

"But I'm sure none of us would begrudge you prioritizing your school visits, especially if we'll try for every birthday this year around."

"They are," Kise said after a moment, a small smile creeping onto his face. "It won't last forever; neither of us wants to do the long long-distance thing, but while we're here in Japan, we're going to make the most of it."

He entertained the idea of later in life, the two of them reconnecting and really making a relationship work. Not just something to help Kise get over Kuroko and Akashi to use to piss off his father.

They liked each other. A lot. And if Kise planned on staying in Japan or if Akashi was planning on moving to the US like him, Kagami, Aomine, and probably Murasakibara, it had the potential to bloom into something more. They were being careful not to go too far emotionally.

Physically, was another story.

"Aominecchi is really good at throwing a fit though," he said with a grin. "He's such a little bitch sometimes."

He flopped back onto the grass. "So, anyone new in your life?" he asked.

"I see... that's a shame. You two make a nice couple."

Perhaps it was due to his own biases, but he didn't expect to hear there would be a deadline to a relationship - though, it made a lot of sense given their life situations.

As if on cue, his lights start arguing loudly over whose last dunk was more physically impressive. Kuroko lets out a sigh, though his smile is fond as he looks on.

"It just means Aomine-kun would miss you if you weren't there."

Kise's question throws him off-kilter though, interrupting as he moves to take his next bite. His eyebrows furrow as he looks aside. "... no." And chomps onto the onigiri with a bit more energy.

The fact that he doesn't deny it immediately... and that his ears are definitely, distinctly pinker...

"I think we do too. It's too bad he's not coming to the States. He's smart enough to get in anywhere he applies. Him and Midormacchi."

He's a little jealous that school work comes easier to everyone here except maybe Aomine and maybe Kagami than it does to him, but he is proud of what Akashi is capable of.

And as if thinking of them, the blue haired Miracle and Kuroko's light start bickering, getting in each other's faces.

"I know, but he's a lot more dramatic than he likes to admit."

When he hears 'No' from Kuroko's lips he's about to let it go, and then his brain catches up with what just happened. He turns to look at Kuroko, his face is pink, and he's taking a bigger bite than usually. "You do!" he crowed. "Kurokocchi likes someone! Who is it?"

It's a good thing Aomine is being so dramatic, so he keeps his attention strictly on the two power forwards escalating into a mini-fight.

"Even if I did, there's no point in telling you."

Aomine and Kagami are getting further into each other's space and shouting while the others watch the power forwards with varying degrees of annoyance.

Kise's attention, however, is fixed on Kuroko. "How come?" he whined at his friend. "I told you who I liked!"

Granted he gave that information out willingly.

"I don't intend on pursuing it," he answers with a shrug and resists the urge to roll his eyes at his lights. "They're interested in someone else."

"Boo," Kise said and flopped back down on the ground. "That doesn't mean you can't tell me who it is."

He poked Kuroko in the side, pouting at him. "I'm sorry they're interested in someone else. They're missing out in how great a person you are."

"Honestly, I would prefer if no one knew."

Kuroko looks down at the blond for a moment before casting his gaze back over to the court. "It's my own fault. I realized too late."

Kise's brain stops for a moment.

'Realized too late.'

That phrase repeats in his head a couple of times. Does Kuroko mean...?

No. He can't. Because if he did...

Kise decides that his first thought is wrong. Kuroko can't mean him.

"Well, if you want to talk about it, you know I'm willing," he said after a moment.

"Thank you, but there isn't much to say." The idea of talking about his feelings to the person in question especially seems a bit mortifying, even if Kuroko thought he had a rather good poker face. "If anything, I would rather go back to being wholly disinterested in romance."

It would be much easier to navigate - the unfamiliarity of dealing with feelings like this has him feeling unsettled.

"Consider the offer open indefinitely," he said. "Sometimes it helps get it off your chest."

He hummed, fingers running through the grass as he looked up at the sky.

"You know, I've been wondering. Is it just in general you're not interested in? Or are you not interested in sex either?"

He finishes off his onigiri, contemplative over Kise's offer. "I'm not sure it would help much."

And he sighs, contrasted by a soft blush rising in his cheeks. "I'm a normal teenage boy, Kise-kun. I just don't think it was very relevant until now."

"It might be in the future," he countered.

"Hmm... Just tells me you get horny. Do you think you could do it with a stranger just for fun, or do think you could only do it with you really like the person."

"I understand this is the norm for many and I'm not trying to cast judgement on anyone else," looking at you, Aomine, "but... I personally don't see the point in engaging with someone I had no interest in."

Kise rolls back up to a sitting position. "I mean, you're not wrong. I want my first time with someone I'm in a relationship with..." His eyes drift to Akashi, who has made Kuroko's lights kneel in front of him to stop the argument, his face warming as he recalled what they did on their last date. They haven't gone all the way, not yet, but they just rounded third base for the first time. "But after that, I don't think I'd mind if someone picks me up at a party or something."

He looked back at Kuroko. "I've been reading about sexuality a lot lately, and I think you're demisexual. It sounds a lot like you from what you've told me."

He tears his own gaze away from the scolding session, trusting Akashi to be able to tame his two big cats.

"Demisexual...?" He tilts his head, trying out the word as he looks back at Kise. It is very much a foreign concept to Kuroko, despite being as well read as he is. He simply, truly had no interest in this realm and his only exposure to it has been unrealistic, grandiose descriptions weaved in words. There is a world of difference between reading it and feeling it. "You may be right. I've always just assumed I was asexual, but that clearly isn't true."

He sounds a bit annoyed, but it melts away quickly as he fondly watches Aomine and Kagami get declawed in real time by Akashi's authority. "But I suppose I was comparing myself to others. You and Aomine-kun seem to have a laxer view on these things."

Kise has become a little more well-read since he and Akashi came out in that big splashy way—mostly stuff about LGBT+ people to try to get a better understanding of the community he, the other Miracles, and Kagami basically belonged to outside of the world of fashion.

"Well," Kise began. "It's not like I'm going to be as big a slut as Aominecchi. Like, I'm not planning on getting laid every week once I move to the US. And honestly, I don't think he'll be as active as he says he'll be. But I think most of us," he gestured at the group, "wouldn't mind a one-night-stand here and there, even Midorimacchi."

He shrugged. "Things in the gay community just tend to be more sexual, for better or worse."

"I think Midorima-kun wouldn't be very happy about that about assessment."

He leans back. "I don't think it's a bad thing. I suppose I'm wired differently. Or maybe I'm old-fashioned, I would prefer to wait for someone I love..."

Kise snorted. "He would. I've actually put some thought into this, along with Aominecchi, and I've ranked us all from least likely to most likely to have a one-night stand. It's goes; you, Midorimacchi, Akashicchi, Murasakibaracchi, me, then Aominecchi."

He gave Kuroko a wicked grin, which then softened to a fond smile as his gaze drifted back over to Akashi. "Well, that's true of all of us for our first times, at least. It's why Aominecchi hasn't gone prowling like an alleycat yet."

"What a strange thing to spend time thinking about," Kuroko chuckles a bit at the ranking, but it doesn't seem entirely off-base.

"Even Aomine-kun has a romantic side to him, hm?" He follows his gaze to Akashi and realizes something. "Oh - I meant it when I say I'd prefer nobody else to know. Don't discuss this with Akashi-kun."

Kuroko was always good at suppressing his true feelings and thoughts, but it never seems to work around the redhead. The last thing he wants is for his crush to be realized and complicate things. Akashi seemed so much happier dating Kise, after all.

"Maybe," Kise said. "But it's kinda normal in my world, with modeling and my dad being a former go-go dancer slash soft-core porn writer. Granted, he did always censor his stories with us."

He gave Kuroko a long look before realizing where his friend's gaze was.

Ah. Okay, that made much more sense than Kuroko realizing he had feelings for him. A jolt of jealousy stabs through him, but he's not sure who he's jealous of; Akashi for having the attention of the guy he liked or Kuroko for wanting Akashi.

Both, he realized. He takes a breath, lets the feeling go, then leans over and hugs Kuroko. "I won't say anything," he promised.

He's talked to Akashi about who he likes, and there's no one at the moment. Akashi isn't aromantic, but he may be similar to Kuroko in that aspect. Though Akashi's sex drive is, well, Kise has no complaints about any part of their relationship, least of all its physical and intimate elements. They are very fond of each other, and the connection is emotionally personal as much as it is physically, but it's not true love. It's very close, and if he and Akashi stayed like this forever, Kise would be thrilled. But they can't, and that fact doesn't sadden Kise as much as it would if it was true love.

Maybe he's wired differently, too.

Kuroko makes a small, confused noise at the sudden hug. Weirdly, it feels more like he's the one comforting the blond, but he takes it in stride, wrapping his arms around Kise and patting him on the back.

"Thank you. I'm sure with a little bit of time, it won't even be relevant anymore." He can totally ignore his feelings and let them fade! Kise managed to do it, after all! (He winces a bit internally at this thought.)

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